A man’s morning poop is a celebrated time in a man’s day. This is the time we get to have perfect peace and quiet, we are able to enjoy our newspaper or magazine without interruption. If you are a woman this will sound completely ridiculous and foreign to you; and that’s ok, that means you are normal.
To add another layer of greatness onto a man’s morning poop is if he is able to have this morning poop at work. Nothing is better than getting paid to read the paper; and there is no better excuse to not be working than pooping. There aren’t many times in your life where you can get paid to do the things that you aren’t paid to do. Ha-ha, Do-Do!
Anyways, so the point of this post is to let you know what grinds my gears…
For some reason the toilets at work have been getting clogged almost every day. This hasn’t been a problem for the last 2 years that I have worked in this building; however, it simply appeared out of nowhere! The toilet that I can always count on being clogged now is the “designated shitting toilet.” For the uneducated, or just all women for that matter, the “designated shitting toilet” is a toilet where guys don’t stand up and pee in since there is a high chance of someone peeing on the seat or the floor.
The plumbing in the building hasn’t changed a bit so it leads me to believe there is a new person in the building that is simply using half a roll of paper per-poo. This is simply ridiculous! No one needs 30 squares per wipe; furthermore this is cheap office style 2-ply. So this TP isn’t prone to taking up much space since it is about twice the thickness of a human hair.
Damn it! I just want to enjoy my poops at work. I don’t want to have to squeeze into the small toilets that are no bigger than a casket. Those are for the shy guys that can’t pee at urinals, and poo emergencies. That’s why they invented the Handicapped crapper stall; it’s the Cadillac of pooper stalls.