dumb people

A man's morning poop is a celebrated time in a man's day. This is the time we get to have perfect peace and quiet, we are able to enjoy our newspaper or magazine without interruption. If you are a woman this will sound completely ridiculous and foreign to you; and that’s ok, that means you are normal.

To add another layer of greatness onto a man’s morning poop is if he is able to have this morning poop at work. Nothing is better than getting paid to read the paper; and there is no better excuse to not be working than pooping.

A movie theater is no place for your freaking kids. And I'm not talking about seeing something like Shrek, I'm talking anything over PG.  And nothing past 7 o'clock.